The scented jasmines
Was your gesture of love
It had many smells
From a far away land it landed on my soil
And reached my humble patio with pride
Then you sent another gift
A white dove to be by my side
Thats another token of love for you
Your mind will always be with me
Then you scribbled the love note
Heavy and nice for all to see
I smiled, I laughed and cried a little
With all the joy in my heart.
But when I reached home today
I saw my jasmines wilting away
My dove gone
And the love notes torn to pieces
I had none
All given were taken
How could all these be?
Please give my jasmine back
Get me that dove
And send those love notes again please
Why now, I asked?
Why not? said you
Then I realized
That was the true face of
A mean you!
How I wish I had known
And not be fooled
It was just A question
The answer was vague and dim
It was to free my mind and reach you
Instead I irate you
I grew restless with confusion
What now?
Then I heard the reply
Curt and cruel
It shook my body
I asked again
This time your reply hit me real hard
Almost like trudging a sharp knife
Down my throat, my lips and my heart You went silent later As the minutes passed
My wounded soul grew weak
And slowly
I died another death
I started to cry You turned to look at me I showed my bleeding heart
'I said .....wait.....all this is fresh and real'
I'm hurting again'
But you waited no more
You slammed the door and threw the lock
I dragged my body nearer to you
You shook your head and cast me away
And showed my place
I blinked a few tears
Oh wounded heart please plead again
But your deafening ears want no more
I staggered to hold you again
You turned and never looked back
As I watched you go
I knew I was doomed
You ripped my happiness all at once
You had no regrets and I had no hope
So I took the knife and made a deep cut
Right through my heart
So that there will no more marks
No more scars....just another big hole
And I bleed no more!
First an orphan, than a widow
Trouble, sickness AND death
One after another
It became painful just to watch
To neglect the kindness
That He has given
Is sheer ungratefulness
But to plod on and embrace every love knots
In repeated warnings
That is truly lifeless!
They said the signs were concealed
For my sake it was done
You should embrace the severe blows
Made complete year after year
Because thats generousity
The comforter of all sorrows
As the years close
with all the rust and rough surfaces
I felt more like an orphan than a widow
So anxious about the signs and blows
I search the motives
And tried to unfold all the mysteries
Each line resonates warmth
Every move spells heartaches
Each blow was like sending a wild rose
And the token of death is pretty mild?
And I, the orphan
must move on
With unceasing zeal
and much wisdom?
With dad gone
The pious cares gone too
And Mum followed
All love and careless care suddenly ceased
As my age got riper
The failings grew stronger
And tightly strained emotions
lurked every corner
Waiting to pour all over
In those moments of desperations and Hell
I made a bow to reach you
Instead I lost myself....
Which sorrow have you?
For none like mine
Which joy have passed you?
Too little to count
For this wounded mind
Have made my sanctions by prayers
Yet my glancing eyes are still
glistened with tears
On every wing of time
Those tears scarcely rest an instant
My fleeting thoughts borne forward
To all who have left me
Sadly, nothing reached this heart anymore
Though everything and everyone passes me by
Secretly, I have no wish beyond
To be here without them
Yet I could not turn aside
To weep in silent
Where is my partner of fate?
Could you feel me now?
The timid graces of a tired woman
They are harsher now than before
Ive lost that lovely moves
Even the shaded eyes
Have no sweetness
Yet Im still content
Beyond the power of my will
To get a matchless man
Be it soon or never?
Forgetful it would seem
For Ive been here six times
Bled and scarred by many thorns
Yet I want it to go on
So I wait for that painless joy
and the comfort of a
cheap gem from another vain man
in this trying hour!
Yesterday at dawn
I heard you calling my name
That was the time when everything was white
There was emptiness around
And hardly any noise
Your voice made the loudest sound
Alone, unknown, my body curved
My heart cried
To hear that you are waiting for me
Today
I stop looking for that hue
For other names
No more distance
No more sailings
Towards the unknown
The sorrows gone
A bouquet has arrived
The following messages too many
To forget or remember
Tomorrow
I know you will set out
To reach me by dawn
The means are many
You told me so
By the mountain, by the forest
There is plenty
You will play the music
And the bells will ring
You will carve the signs
in all pages for all to see
For you can no longer be far away from me
I am so depressed. I could cry.....I just dont know where to start writing this to you. How I wish these lonesome nights will be over soon. Sad though I am, IRONICALLY, I am loving every minute of this separation yet at the same time I loathe it.
Perhaps, you will understand it one day. Whenever I miss you, the words just pour but when I REALLY miss you, especially at nights, that is the hardest bit to write.
You always know what to say and when to say. But the heartache of waiting for you to say it, is so unbearable - if only you know. You always say, "I am a man but I feel it the same way, honey."
I love your sweet tender words but somehow it never quite matches mine. My words are sad with all the tenderness from within but when it leaves my lips, they sound hurtful, aloof and distant, just like me. I hope you understand because Im hurting inside.
There's nothing more precious than your love. My very being is so colourless and dull without you. I am so afraid that you will love me less and less because I have turned to be a very boring person!
I'd do anything to be with you BUT then again willit ever happen? Can I ever be part of you forever? One day, when we are older, I will talk to you about all the lonely nights and longingness when we are not together. And may be then, you will also tell me that you cant do anything without me.
You broke the news
Of an everlasting home
Alas my happiness is complete
Our love will meet
At my simple paradise
As I create all things new
I want this happiness to last
And I choose my garment so bright
For the news have arrived
My lover is coming
But first, let me tell you
What pleasures that I seek for
What glories that spell heavenly
For you and for me, all at once
The words and the pictures
And when I see your face
Like a gallant man
claiming his domain
I will try and stand before my new King
With a light heart
bursting with joy and pride
As you tell them the story of us
Far and long
Short but sweet!
So do not stop loving me now
As I described these words here
In which I hope we shall finally meet
As I reach my arms at your feet
Very lovingly and tenderly
You ask me
Which way is best
Left or right
I am still confused
Let me be here
In pure sanity Ive lost my way
Even the roses you sent
Have scent no more
So ask me not
If it is warm at my place?
It may be hot and sunny
But I dont feel the blaze
The heat straying deep inside
Ask me not where the flame went
Is it the weather or whether?
I have no answer
Your sweet words
Like winter so chilling
But all that has passed
Its cold but I long for no warmth
This blanket is fine
Though tattered and old
Its mine
And you keep yours
Ask me no more
If Im fine
Your love notes can rest
Bright, fixed and promising
I feel numb
Its not spicy anymore
And if you ask me again
Is it East and West?
And how is the frangrance?
I have no answer
Just dont let the notes reach me
I have enough to keep me
A life time of memories
So ask me no more, please!
The days are getting darker
The weather so filthy
Though the rain has stopped
For my master
As I look within
To my dear ole self
Of all my wishes
For this year alone
Ive wasted my life
In secret flames
Yet I am still here
Waiting for my master
Oh please restore my faith
As my fate is not so hopeful
My life is non so bright
My days will soon expire
And all my joys and sorrows
My master knows none
For he is absent
Everywhere, every turn, every time
I hope not to hope anymore
My master shall not come
Not ever
Never to me!
Where can I be without you
What do I have to do to be with you
How can I ease this heart of mine
For this longingness is too deep to tell
I've told you often
It's so lonely here
With all the memories
That you left behind
I only have one song to myself
On my lips
In my heart
But before I could sing it to you
You are gone
How can I ever stray
Away from you
When all the shadows are bleak
There is no way home
Or should I return
To where I belong?
I looked everywhere
And followed your trail
But the echoes keep coming back
Louder than ever
"Are you there, my love?"
The winding road is too far
I dont know if I can find you
And I lost my way again
With all the ties that you gave
And the repeated dreams
That we shared
So, what do I do?
All I know
I am so devoted to you!
How many times
Have I been here
Upon the hours
And waited for that flicker
Whenever night falls
It is so rare
To even tell
Where you are
At this hour
Soft glimmers of hope
Once again escaped all over me
Though I am clothed in glitter
You still do not notice me?
You said you were full of passion
And that will blossom forever
So I tried to put on my finest fashion
With flowers and colour so sweet
I tried to swim to your side
But only a glimpse you offer me
Then I almost offer all of myself
For this man seems to like me
Even without precious dew
He still likes me
When slowly
The passion shuts in pain
And I sink further
Almost suffering
Trying to get my lover's attention
Im so so hurt!
