I AM ZIEMAN

YOU TAGGED ME....

He got the nerve to tag me and that's how everything else seems to fall into place. MD, the young man whose striking resemblance to a handsome young Ustaz had the courage to start a relationship with an elderly woman who has seen all and done all.

It was his honesty and sincerity, more than anything else that won me over. He confessed to me that he fell for that "old face" and was determined to get her, no matter what it takes. Nicely put but why should I believe him?

Afterall, MD is just another guy. And I have enough of men. Enough to write volumes about them. And I dont want any right now at this age.

At 45, I am MOST choosy. I have build up such a strong personality that deep down I feel that I dont need any men at this point of time. Being a single parent often and long, has wisened me. Snapping and ridiculing them seem to be my favourite past time. How can I ever take men seriously when all they do is making use of me?

Yet MD's patience to win me over was the thing that made me open up to him eventually. And so I responded, tactfully and consciously. I thank God every day of my life for sending MD to me.

Life was never the same agin after that 'first chatting date.'

From the warm hello, the relationship slowly build up to one that gripped me. Suddenly, MD was everywhere in my life. He was there in the morning, evening, night and the wee hours of the morning. MD was special in more ways than one.

He just knew what to say, when to say and said it the way I want it to be said. Talking to MD is like talking to an old friend as we have lots of common interest from food, people, hobbies and anything else.

We confide in each other a lot and there was just so much to talk about. I was afraid I would bore him with my never ending stories but later found out that's what MD likes most about me...he loves to hear me talk.

Strangely, we were drawn to each other more than ever and had our first 'lovers quarrel' one day when my handphone battery died and could not reach each other for one whole day.

His short, curt SMS was enough to tell me that he was hurt. And I thought that was kind of cute. The first time ever, he revealed his real inner feelings...

It was a sweet yet a draining emotional experience and that is something I would want to avoid at this age. I was looking out for the 'danger signs' before its too late but there is none so far. And that is DANGEROUS....

MD is wiser than his young age. Ive often told MD that he should find a younger woman but he was adamant to keep his woman. I should feel proud but instead I feel sad and detached. I wonder how long these feelings will last.

I am still trying to adjust to his silent, unanticipated withdrawals whenever things are not going right.

He doesn't nag but he broods. He listens raptly to whatever I have to say and has a long attention span unlike me.

Joceline and Imma asked me the other day, why was MD so special to me?

I didnt have to search long for the right answer...."I am physically attracted to him." No...errr I mean sexually drawn to him and that is really SOMETHING!