I AM ZIEMAN

COMPELLED TO REPLY

I received this message from S today. I assumed he was COMPELLED to write it after he read my latest posting 'Deafening Silence'.

I tried to understand the hurt and rejection. But I do not have a clue. We drifted apart by design from the Almighty and went through the 'deafening silence' phase in our own strange way.

Thank you S. I appreciate honest remarks from sincere people though it is painful.....

And so S wrote.

Assalamualaikum

I find your latest blogg postings - after a long absence - touching. It is also so ironic that you had chosen for one of the postings the title 'the deafening silence.'

It's like the hurt I feel during all these blank years between the two of us. And its a double dose of irony that you had written, in your first stanza,words that reflect so much of what I want to tell you:

"If I can have you back in my life again ....just for a moment.... And if that's all you can afford to grant me...I shall accept the honour"

If the words had come from me, they would have been for you.
but you wrote the words for someone you care.. someone who cares much more than I had probably cared for you. And so, in the whole scenario...we are all bleeding...
If tomorow doesnt come, Zie? Would you know how much I care? Would that other someone know how much you care?

There had been many questions, which I now have stopped asking and they would remain among the mysteries of my life. I no longer seek for answers. I seek only forgiveness. What has not changed is that I have not stopped seeing the best in you.

I have not stopped praying for your wellness and well-being and I had whispered your name in front of the kaabah. I dont want to be hurt anymore and I pray that you too will...from now...refuse to be hurt.

I'm a great believer of love and I believe love will find a way to heal and build. Like I say, I have no answers but I do not doubt that the Almighty has a reason for every thing and and every one. I'm writing this at 2am so please excuse the muddleness.

Love always.
S